In case you missed part one of this series, where I talk with Emily, it is available here.
We talk to Jeanette who shares her perspective on what it was like to have her daughter hooked on heroin. We talk about their seven year battle with her daughter Emily’s addiction.We talk about codependency. And we get her thoughts on what her family is doing to combat this problem.
“When I found out about Emily I was very distraught. How could this happen to my daughter? She was never around drugs, she had a happy life, with a mom and dad who were always around her. We didn’t know she had her own problems. She hid them very well. Most people do. That’s why it is so important that we respect one another, and listen to one another.”
Jeanette had a lot of the same perspectives as many do when they think of addiction and drug use. This seven year journey with her family was sure to test them, but they had the will to fight back, and to change.
“I had the same view/stigma as every other person. I thought addiction was only on the streets. Only homeless people struggled with these issues. I didn’t see the young children who were struggling with problems in their mind. I didn’t see the parents struggling to help their children. I didn’t see the mom or dad who broke their leg and got addicted to opiates. I definitely had a different outlook once it impacted our family. One of the things I felt was ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to know about it. I wanted to hide it. I did not know anything about Heroin at the time.”
We talk about how the family wasn’t prepared or educated on heroin use. Jeanette brings up a very valid point that there is really no place for friends and family members to go and talk about their personal experiences with addiction. Jeanette has taken so much from this seven year battle. She has tenaciously sought out education for herself.
“I read everything i could. I talked to everyone I could but i found out that there weren’t anything for parents. I had nowhere to go, I had no resources. I had to search it all on my own. When she would go to rehabs they would give you pamphlets with numbers to call, and I would call the numbers and half of them weren’t even available. They didn’t call me back.”
Jeanette didn’t give up on her daughter and continued to hunt for resources.
“I started looking for meetings to go to. I thought maybe there’s something for parents there. But there wasn’t so I went to open meetings, and what I found was so amazing but so stupid at the same time. I was only allowed to attend open meetings but at these open meetings you could not speak. You are there to listen to the addicts. So I thought ok, how is this helping me. So my goal is to have a group of parents who can get together and talk about what to do. So many parents have a hard time letting their kids go. It took me nearly 6 years to do it. I don’t want my kid hungry on the street, I don’t want this demon inside of her to take hold. As a parent we nurture, but we need to let go. You can’t fix her and you have to let go. I mean that stuff damn near killed her. And everything she went through wasn’t enough, she went back. That is how strong addiction is.”
The most beautiful moments to realize was Jeanette’s acceptance and her strength to stop enabling her daughter. One of the hardest things she ever had to do in her life ultimately saved her daughters life.
“You have a heroin addiction, and you’re in recovery. I’m not going to hide that.”