OD is proud to announce our next series: Memoirs of an Addict. The content makes up the first chapter in the book I am working on and will be released in 10 parts over the course of the next two weeks. Share with us your thoughts!
Only recently did I become self-aware. I imagine that was how Adam and Eve felt after eating the forbidden fruit, the difference being my ignorance was painful. Prior to the now I spent most of my days miserable. This isn’t to say I’m currently drowning in bliss, quite the contrary, however, I’ve found peace in knowing I am the actor in control of my life. For far too long I allowed my identity to be dictated by those around me. Such a relief it is to take control of my life, to not wait for direction or passion from others, to follow my own passions for the first time in my existence. I never understood why I was so unhappy which, as you can imagine, resulted in unbearable levels of frustration.
Continuously looking to others to tell me what to do, to tell me what would make me happy. My thought was based on the premise that if I could please those around me if I could make them happy by adhering to what they wanted me to be and their expectations, I would inadvertently stumble into happiness. By living under this set of beliefs I lost myself, my identity (in truth I never really had/found my identity I write, in part, to find my purpose) and ended up suffocated by a misery that could not be described in words. Today is a new day, a joyous day, and I thank God for the clarity he has provided me.