An Addict’s Reflection

Open Discussion O.D. Apparel is committed to furthering the dialogue on addiction. The following excerpt is one addict’s perspective on his battles as well as the drug issue at large.  Note: the views expressed in this post are not necessarily shared with OD…

Here is my blog on my experience with drug use, their users, and my self-reflection. Time has changed my view on addiction and those struggling. My mom would let me smoke weed, but if I drank she would kill me.  This shows everyone has different beliefs and values. If you see someone going through a difficult time don’t look down on them, stand up, and help them! They’re feeling sick daily. Puking, not eating, and unable to get out of bed from shooting pains. People I know personally have had to choose between selling themselves or go through that hell.  I personally have pawned some of my prized possessions to support the habit, but why? They wouldn’t choose this for themselves. I used to hate these people, I mistakenly thought they’d ruined themselves. Now, I’m more enlightened. Here’s my story.

Drugs are everywhere. From the time I was in middle school on. I never did them in my early years and even though those who did were tools. But, times change.  In high school, I’d occasionally smoke pot and drink, but I identified more as a student and soccer player than a drug user. For some reason, I remember hating pills and tobacco. Over time as I entered college, my mind grew accustomed to being around people with them. Curiosity bested me leading to me trying my first narcotic, Xanax, around this time. It was cool because it would put me to sleep right?

You see, before I was introduced to people I liked, who happened to indulged in drugs, I hated them. I couldn’t understand why people would not want to use their brain to their full capacity.  I thought that was the beauty of life. I’d like to stop and apologize to anyone I ever put down during this time period. The people I have gotten high with aren’t your stereotypical dumb junkies. They are, in fact, brilliant. Some of the smartest people I have ever met get high, and I always resented them for that. Which makes me wonder, why did I start using? Why would I be judgemental, half of them were obviously sick, dealing with shit most can’t understand. Maybe, I was just ignorant, or uneducated.

Flash forward a few years, I now, am the junkie. Then, I realize what hell the people I shunned really went through. I have a different perspective on it. That’s the thing with opiates; they’re unlike anything else.  As you can see, over the years I have changed significantly more than I ever expected. I used to hate people who used hard drugs, I was afraid to lose them, and I didn’t get it. But, in time I’ve grown to relate to them more than anyone.  Most of them are brilliant, and that’s the sad thing. They need an outlet, like this campaign to show their importance, and not be judged. But, just loved.

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